Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Man: The New Woman

When did men get to make the rules? When did we have to pander to the sesitivities of the less sensitive sex? When did men become the new women? Should I be asking them what shade of lipstick goes with what outfit? Pass them a tissue... they don't know!

Men play games. They hate women that play, so why do they start the game in the first place?

I have to admit, I'm no game player. I suck at the games! Seriously, if love were a boardgame, I'd be stuck down the bottom of the ladder. I can't stomach the harshness that goes hand in hand with the dice throwing and pawn moving. When it comes to my emotions, I'm a fragile little shell.. especially at the moment. In my last relationship, I said to myself I wasn't going to try and guess what he wanted. I wasn't going to not say things just in case he thought something horrible about me. I wasn't going to censor myself. What's the point? I'd tried it before and it hadn't lasted, so why not just try being me. It's not me, if he doesn't like me, then there was no point pretending to be someone I'm not. And for the most point I did that, I'm proud to say. And our relationship was fine. I don't think we had any problems with each other. I never hid anything, and I don't think he did either. We had and I like to think, still have, a mutual respect for each other.

Having said that, why is it that I feel that men have all the control. That we have to pander to their needs to even get close to what we want. We have to be careful about what we say, Oh don't rush the poor lad, he might feel claustrophic! Get him a paper bag! My god he's feeling rushed or not rushed enough! Give me the paper bag I can spew in disgust at his misconception that all women are the same... balls up man! Seriously! I see it everyday - a girl who says one thing, and then worries about how the boy might take it. When really she is not clingy by any standard, or stalkerish, she does not even own a pair of night vision goggles! But one thing's for sure: the boy is not worrying about what he says to the girl. The girl really wants to get jiggy with this boy.. nothing more, just have some fun, and yet she has to constantly worry that he might think she wants a relationship and back off. Seriously, why all the pandering! If he wants to get his end in, shouldn't he be pandering to the womans needs! Where is our pandering?

Men have lost the art of 'wooing', even if it's just on a casual basis. Why should it disappear? Has the modern woman allowed men to be lazy? Girls, this is half your fault. With you half naked inticing him with naked texts, wanting some sort of attention and giving it to him straight up, he never has to work with all these girls throwing their nakedness at him. That's not to say you can't explore your sexuality... (that's another argument that could come out of this blog. But we'll keep it simple) And then men, complaining that they don't want these manipulative girls, yet again thinking with only one organ at a time.. I know I know... not enough blood to run them both at the same time! Seriously, if we pumped you with a few litres more, would it help? Get a grip men! You go for the vindictive, needy (easy) women that turn into stalkers and then.. shock horror, you wonder why you ended up in a mess!

That comes down to us pandering to these over sensitive males... when did men stop pandering us and the tables turn.. Darling, that wallet doesn't match your shoes. Man up!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

The Text Files


It's a tricky letter. Not that it's hard to write, but those two lines crossed over one another symmertically has been an over developed symbol for centuries.

I mean: "Sign on the X"
"X marks the Spot"

This symbol has been used for centuries, since people started writing letters with feathered plumes in their hats and an ink well in their desk. This little symbol is known everywhere as a way to show a physical action upon a piece of paper: xxx

Kisses, there in black and white.

How can the be misconstrued?

The four X's is not a symbol of friendship, just like "you will pay" written in blood stained letters on our wall is a little more than a subtle warning of revenge. So the incorrect response to these X's is the "I love our friendship". Especially if you are the person who sent the X's in the first place. Excuse me, but sending xxx is more than just the porn section in the video store! So, if you aren't sure, don't send the xxx's. It's a symbol of affection, is you have no affection then don't mark the spot!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Facebook: "It's Complicated"

Morning sex is awesome.

I'm sure I'm not the only one to say that. Coming out of a sleepy daze and waking up with a.. well.. bang... is a pretty nice experience. This morning I woke up. That's it. And, as I lay there I wondered if I should get up for work. So obviously the above didn't happen for me. So, what made me want morning sex and turn it into a blog about facebook? My relationship status, that's what.

Finding the relationship lable is hard, as I'm just starting to figure out. I thought things would be easy. Break up with a guy, have a cry, get over that loser and be on the look out for another one who is hopefully better. I like to think I'm slowly climbing the man ladder. But, unfortunatly it's never that simple.

Just the other day I was on Facebook, and people have been changing the lables of their relationship 'complicated' 'single' married' 'divorced but getting some on the side'. So, I got to thinking, how would you lable your 'relationship' on facebook? Seriously?

How about:

"seeing ex-boyfriend occassionally but it's more than just sex but less than a serious relationship - though monogamous to each other'.

PHEW... okay, so Facebook doesn't have that. It's very limiting!

The thing with the Ex-files is strange. You half have sex on tap, though it never usually happens in the morning. Hence my wish for morning sex. It's usually on a Saturday night after you meet each other at the pub for drinks, or on a lazy afternoon after having lunch and watching a few dvd's. And the thing is, I should really lable my relationship status as 'complicated' in facebook terms. Because at the moment I am 'single'. And that's not a lie. I'm not thinking that he's 'relatrionship' material. Because, just like me, he is listed as 'single'. We are both singletons in this society of find a partner before your ovaries wither to prunes. Not that I should be worried about that.

But again, now the Facebook lable of 'friends' has come into question in my mind. Friends care for each other. You can have a genuine good time with the other person. So when is it that you start to notice that 'friends' isn't even going to cut it any more? But again, 'friends' on Facebook can be "...the dude you talked to for five minutes down at the pub because he got in your rode and you didn't want to be rude".

Is Facebook status not complicated enough to deal with the level of relationships people have with one another. And are people mistaking this simplification and placing it on the relationships they have in the real world. Or are we just 'living' through Facebook?

So, now with my Ex-File, we remain 'friends', it's definatly feeling like a one sided friendship. I can handle the friends with benefits business, because I like those benefits. I like the cuddles and the night sex. But just like a relationship, friendship you have to put a lot into, and I put it in, being there when he is lonely, and get nothing in return. He should change his whole profile on facebook to 'it's complicated'. And as I said, I'm not too concerned about my withering ovaries. Only that coming from a small town if you have multiplied by the age of 23 something is wrong. I'm 25. I don't want kids just yet. I want to travel, and drink, and have fun and love having the ability to 'maybe just pick up and move' if the right opportunity comes along, without having to worry about anyone else. I guess I like that part of singledom too..... Except I don't get the morning sex.