Thursday, November 11, 2010

Whats My Age Again??

How old is your partner, really?
There is big debate over age differences in relationships. Guy older than girl? How old is too old? When does it go from cradle-robbing or toy-boy chasing cougar to just plain weird? But then you have another type of wrong: when you realise your partner - with the chemistry and passion you’ve been waiting for - is a real life Peter Pan.
Small, insular towns seem to have this affect on men more than say larger communities. Maybe this is because in smaller, Summer Bay type communities, you don’t come up with the same adult issues in life and they seem to be living in a perpetual state of Degrassi High. It is true to the testament of just because you can breed and drive a car, doesn’t mean you should.
Does this sound familiar? Whether its your own personal experience, or you’re watching a friend go through the ‘is he your child or your boyfriend’ sickness, it’s a tough call. Do you call their mother or a daycare centre? In case you’re confused, here are some top symptoms of the Peter Pan syndrome:

No ambition:
Does your partner just seem to coast through life and his biggest highlight is the six schooners or vodkas they are having at the pub with mates on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday night. Surely you CAN’T just look forward to beer? Can you?

I’m not touching that thing!
Go out for dinner at a new restaurant that is not the local Chinese take away. If they can’t differ from the sweet and sour pork, when you suggest going to sushi train, or a glass of wine instead of tooheys new, then ask how old they really are. Children are adverse to new tastes, so if it hasn’t killed the last guy who ate it, will it kill them? I think not. Have no fear, and try a dumpling.

Communication is the key:
Are you scared to leave your partner at the party while you need to go to the bathroom because of their inability to make small talk (especially without having ten beers sunk beforehand) or inability to talk all together? You’re not a baby sitter, and you haven’t had his children, go hang with your friends and chuck them in the deep end, if he’s whining about it, he’s wearing Peter’s green tights.

The inability to read directions:
Is this a two way street or a single lane? Huh? If they can’t give a little, even when sacrificing (yes its called a sacrifice for a reason) is what relationships are all about, then you have an issue. Being selfish is what being a kid is all about. It’s all about the Id or the Ego or whatever Freud was telling us about. Kids don’t like to share, they want to do whatever they want and have no comprehension on the term give and take. Men know women and men are different – but boys whinge about it. If he moans about your needs when you are expected to cater to his, be it the boys nights, the drunken pick ups at 2am, and he won’t even come around with a pizza on your night off because he’s so tired then tell them to be put in the playpen and get a partner with the same mentality or has little self esteem to know better.

It’s not rocket science, but even if you can do adult things doesn’t mean you have the mental capacity to approach life as an adult. If Mr. 28 year old is still sitting on your couch smoking pot and playing play station then maybe you should remind him it’s a school night so nothing past 10pm – hire a baby sitter, call his mum – and you go out into the adult world and work some magic.